A5 Tutor feedback and response

assign 5 feedback pdf

Overall Comments

Your photographs are strongly expressive of traffic congestion as a dreadful imposition on people’s lives in the village. (The shot off the wheelchair trying to cross the road is particularly poignant). You’ve managed to conflate traffic and people well with framing and using the fore-shortening caused by telephoto lenses. This gels this series well – people and cars in a claustrophobic space.

As well as the visual strategy, you’ve clearly got a “political agenda”! Are you aware that you have this perspective? ? I was not aware I had a political agenda. I consider this to be a good idea for a brief to work to in that I am using a real situation. By relaying public opinion I have, hopefully, conveyed the issues within my images, i.e. photo documentary style.  
In terms of the series, I think you could edit down the number of photos here – there are some really strong pictures which are more strongly expressive than others which tend to repeat. I’ve mentioned when I think one could be cut out. You’ve got a lot of pictures to choose from: the caravan that looks so big in the street, the blue lorry next to the pavement of people, the unhappy market trader with the trolley, the telephoto shot of the bus and the market.
What you’re really looking for within a series like this is different incidents that suggest the breadth of the problem to different kinds of people: old people, children, farmers, tourists, truck drivers etc. Each of these characters has a motive and clearly they are clashing! That is where the inherent conflict lies. I was aware at the time of shooting that many of my frames would be of a similar nature due to the subject matter. I did attempt to capture some more creative shots and will review all my draft images for formal assessment.  
Feedback on assignment
Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of Outcome, Demonstration of
Creativity
1 & 2
I’m taking these together because they express similar themes. Shot 2 could be cut out.
These photos set the scene visually – the squash of vehicles, buildings and people. It is not clear that the jeep is ‘mounting the footpath’ as you say. You’d have needed to show that not just write it. I agree and will remove shot 2. 
3
This is your cover shot – it is a strong ‘decisive moment’ because the woman in the wheelchair looks so small and vulnerable in this truck sandwich! I really like the way you’ve managed to frame the front of a car in the foreground and suggest even more impending danger!
4
I think this could be cut out, it isn’t doing anything different then the other ones. Agreed I can use other images for more variety.
5
This could have been a great shot, but the man on the left edge of frame is indecisively framed. But it does get across the way the vehicles dwarf the village! I will cut this one.
6
This is good, but it doesn’t quite make enough of the market. Maybe you needed to find a more decisive shot that shows the conflict of people vs traffic. The Lorry is good – because it is so big though. I will use this shot and check others for more of a market scene.
7
People trying to cross the road! This is exactly the way you needed to develop the narrative of this project. Showing people’s interactions with the traffic.
8
I like the idea here – the narrow pavement full of people next to busy road. Maybe you could have waited for some people to squeeze passed each other.
9
You could cut this one. I like the suggestion of speed blur and the danger of the cars, but the people don’t express much. I was attempting to show the speed of cars passing through this tiny village, but I do accept the point raised here.
10
I like this evening shot of a traffic jam with a mother and boy crossing the road. It would have been ideal visually if they’d have crossed near that arrow on the road. But maybe you could suggest the danger with a crop on them in front of that lorry! Done! 

10a    7a - Copy

11
This could be cut, because it doesn’t create a conflict. The car looks parked.
12
Your final shot of hoards of people on the pavement is a good idea but you’re not capturing the same conflict that you did in the other shots. Also, visually it looks quite different, with
more saturated colour and a brownish, warm tint. I think I may have overdone the saturation in Lightroom, I have better pictures so will cut this one too.
Learning Log
Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis
Your preparation looks good – you mention speaking with local people but you haven’t put their comments anywhere, which would have been interesting. You could even have used them as captions for the photos. The local people’s comments are included – see planning and preparation tab. I like the idea of using these comments as captions to reinforce the issues and concerns.

In your exhibition reviews you write up some good points – reflecting on the way you “fill-in” the narratives of Keith Roberts juxtapositions of Chambre-Hardman’s portraits and of Parr’s old lady under Christ.
Your research or exhibition going is eclectic. Are you understanding the key differences between commercial photographers like David Bailey and artistically motivated photographers like Martin Parr or portrait artists like Vermeer? It isn’t clear that you are understanding the nuances of his expression of the Milk Maid’s humility for example.

I do have a fair understanding of the key differences of commercial v artistic photography, the obvious ones being; Commercial – commissioned and/or paid work, usually quite literal or portraiture…..  Artistic –  uses creative vision…. But, my tutor’s comments above have made me think about this more deeply, so I am off to do more research to include in my exhibition notes!

Congratulations on finishing People and Place.

Tutor name
Robert Enoch
Date
25th January 2016

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